What a cut

I popped my head into the barber shop
on Bridewell Alley and pointed to my
unkempt locks
"Can you do anything with this?"
The barber looked a little surprised
"Not today, sorry."
Which didn't fill me with much hope
as he was trained to deal with such
matters

A short time later in Gatsby's
'Creative Hair Artists For Men'
I discovered that the barber was moving house
"By the time I get home I will have moved"
I sat and smiled and nodded as the hair fell
softly around me like snow

And I spotted my father in the mirror
again

Border line

Had an interesting letter from Borders

explaining in some detail

how to successfully remove the

sticky orange price label

from their magazines

Straight back at ya

It was suggested to me

the other day

that the sudden appearance

of a long grey eyebrow hair

was nothing more than a sign of age

another sign is when the guy in the

bathroom mirror looks old

enough to be your father

but then you remember what a

lovely old man he was

and you exchange a nod of

appreciation

Today's lesson - German sayings

Apparently the Germans don't say

'there are plenty more fish in the sea'

when someone breaks with a partner

they say

'lots of women have beautiful daughters'

(or beautiful sons - but I don't think

that works quite as well)

Help

Are pistachio nuts like
Muscles
in so much as you shouldn't eat
the ones that haven't
opened?

Write then

I've decided to set myself a challenge

I'm going to write the prequel to

The Bible

Moan moan moan

The Today programme on Radio 4

is often criticised for being London centric

"The weather, well looking out of the window

it's still snowing here. As for the rest of the

country, if you haven't had it yet, you will."

Then the poor weather guy copped it

"Please don't use the phrase 'Snow Event'

again - people are complaining and want to

know where they can buy tickets."
"OK John, but there is a serious weather situation

happening at the moment..."

Why are we letting people use the English language

to destroy the English language?

Remember...

You're only as old

as all those decrepit

friends at a school

reunion look