Leaning on a laptop

The morning after the ukulele concert the night before

and to think that this time yesterday

I couldn't even spell ukulele

All was not lost

Not having the Guardian Quick Crossword

at the breakfast table

this morning

did allow me to put

my mind to other things

I finally solved a problem

like Maria

If God had wanted us to enjoy Mondays he wouldn't have given us weekends

I think I insulted the guy on the phone from the bank

when I suggested that my card may

have been blocked was because I'd been to Scotland

"I hardly think that would be a reason," he said

in a very broad Scott's accent

What I meant was that you may have noticed some unusual

spending patterns...

too late, he'd already taken the huff and passed me on to

some English woman who insisted on call me Mr Friar

oh and lost my other credit card - which is where all the trouble began

and the car's not working properly

and I've no cider

and