Mind

Woodn't it be nice

2011-06-29T21:45:00.004+01:00

I remember

when I was little

making a balsa wood

aeroplane with my Dad

and thinking how fantastic it would be

if everything in the world

was made out of balsa wood

and actually I know very little

about balsa wood

Hard luck

2011-01-12T19:45:00.001Z

Overheard:

"Two pounds for the Big Issue?

I'm sorry homeless, but no..."

The winter of '63

2010-12-16T17:55:00.002Z

They're trying to compare this year's
big freeze
with the winter of 1963
I live with one memory of that cold snap
it's of a very large snowball
hitting me in the eye

you know who you are

2010-12-14T21:17:00.001Z

Lonely restaurant
Buzzer announces each course
Feel like Pavlov's dog

Overheard

2010-10-28T13:08:00.001+01:00

"You do realize that disagreeing with my statement is just
reinforcing that statement that we should agree to disagree."

Family Reunion - The Result

2010-10-25T18:51:00.001+01:00

Survived the family reunion
by drinking lots of beer
and eating fine food

and of course the excellent company

The Reunion

2010-10-21T13:40:00.002+01:00

Just hours away from family reunion
And I have a sock crisis

Family secrets

2010-10-09T11:38:00.004+01:00

Just a couple of weeks until the
family reunion
and I have to say
I've read stories about these
kind of things
so I'm expecting at least
one skeleton to be exposed
otherwise
what's the point?

Memories

2010-09-21T07:26:00.002+01:00

It's funny how certain times
and certain days
look different to others
Twenty past nine always makes
me think of being off school ill
And birthdays always evoke memories
of mantelpieces lined with cards.

But not today.

Planning ahead

2010-09-20T13:26:00.002+01:00

The Family Reuion is just over
a month away
I'm going to sort through some old
pictures of my bothers
for ammunition.

School memories

2010-09-18T21:03:00.002+01:00

The one thing Mrs Hedges taught me
at infant school
that I will never forget
is her name.

Family reunion

2010-09-17T22:33:00.004+01:00

We're planning a family reunion in October
in Chipping Norton
the original plan was to meet up annually
around Mum's birthday in September
but that's a bit too Gothic if you ask me
and I'd expect people like Bette Davis
to turn up
which would totally freak us out
as she's been dead a lot longer than Mother.

Warning

2010-09-06T20:23:00.003+01:00

Never put large black plastic bags over your head
I did
but only accidentally while doing
that wavinging it in the air madly thing
you have to do
to get the bloody thing open

Friday lunchtime in Sainsbury's

2010-08-22T16:28:00.003+01:00

Elderly people
slouched over their trollies
drifting like a gentle summer breeze
while all around them
lunch hour shoppers
grit their teeth and
contemplate bogof
aisle rage

Quote of the week

2010-08-07T14:25:00.001+01:00

Overheard on Norwich to London train:
"And how is it MY problem that
YOU forgot MY Birthday?"

Ely

2010-08-07T14:23:00.002+01:00

Went to Ely yesterday
not sure IT knows what IT wants to be
so for now
I suggest it's best
viewed
from the train

Quote of the week

2010-07-23T12:29:00.001+01:00

Peter Wilson, Chief Executive, Norwich Theatre Royal
"I could just put my arms around the city and hug it."

This week's quotes

2010-07-17T17:42:00.003+01:00

"I find myself limited by my own imagination."
Norfolk artist Andy Cairns

"We don't need the One Show's permission."
Ian Johnson following the City of Culture decision.

"It's the spaces between trees that I'm interested in."
Norfolk artist Gill Levin

"There's nothing to replace the brush stroke and all its flaws."
Gill Levin

"I feel all art is political."
Norfolk artist Peter Baldwin

If I wanted your opinion...

2010-07-11T20:43:00.003+01:00

The helpful guy from the clothes shop
suggested that I was looking at the wrong end of the rail
"You need to be at the far end sir,
but even then they only go up to 44."

How I wished I'd ripped the
40 I tried to try on.

Broad daylight

2010-07-11T15:07:00.001+01:00

The woman in the blue top
reached into her bra

a red lipstick

applied
returned
moved on

Head needs testing next

2010-07-10T15:54:00.002+01:00

Look to the left
look to the right
now straight into the light

A puff of air to the left
and then to the right

eyes tested
everything is fine

so why is it going to cost me
£315 for glasses?

All that work

2010-07-09T15:23:00.002+01:00

Other things gave way to
film making
you can see the results at Fusion
in The Forum, Norwich
From Monday

big thanks to all the artists

Normal service will now resume
whatever that is

Artists at work

2010-06-07T20:44:00.003+01:00

Been spending some time
with different artists in their
studios
talking and filming them at work
what a friendly, accommodating
bunch they are

You can see the resulting film
at the Forum in Norwich
next month

Off my trollies

2010-06-01T20:41:00.003+01:00

I ironed a pair of creased trousers
straight from the airing cupboard
but when I put them on I
discovered
two perfect paper tissues in the pockets
evidence that the said trousers hadn't
been washed

This has perplexed me all day.

There is, no doubt, a German word for it.

iPad

2010-05-29T16:09:00.001+01:00

It doesn't make tea
wife safe
but I fear I
may be brewing my own
for a while

As...

2010-03-28T15:49:00.001+01:00

One car door closes
another one opens

Things I've heard this week...

2010-03-02T22:45:00.003Z

"So we don't have a toilet seat then..."

"Do they do the blue in black?"

"I'll have chips" - chips are served and wrapped. "And a fish with the chips please." Unwrapping, fish added, re wrapped. "And another chips, but without the fish...."

March

2010-03-02T22:44:00.001Z

I know it's March
I know I missed out posting in
Feb
but I'll get over it

eventually

All I ask for in life

2010-01-06T07:25:00.001Z

is that bakers make

toastie loaves

the same size as the

toaster's slots

if I had a parrot

2010-01-05T17:44:00.001Z

and if I took it shopping

to Tesco

by now it would be able

to say

'unexpected item in baggage area'

2010 starts here

2010-01-01T08:19:00.002Z

Resolutions, revolutions

revelations

Expectations, exhortations

exasperations

Thoughts, theories

thesaurus

Holiday Monday

2009-12-28T10:20:00.001Z

It’s that spare holiday
we get when Christmas
falls around a weekend

what to do

Winter memory

2009-12-20T07:18:00.003Z

The freshly fallen snow

puts me in mind of a childhood day

when various layers of clothing

gloves and a wooly balaclava

couldn't protect me from an elder

brother's carefully aimed frozen missile

Snow

2009-12-18T07:06:00.002Z

The first significant snow fall

of the winter brings

the usual

reports of travel chaos

someone must make money

from all this poor preparation

otherwise we'd be

talking about something else

What to do with ideas

2009-12-11T22:54:00.002Z

I've had an idea that could

help farmers keep the birds

of their crops

I've no idea who one should tell

a farmer I guess

but what if it turns into an idea

on the scale of cats eyes

or post it notes

or velcro

actually the more I think about

the more I can see some flaws

Best not mention it

I may look daft

Fixed

2009-12-11T18:05:00.000Z

The man came

the oven fixed

all I need do now

is throw away his

rubbish

and cook

Great

2009-12-11T07:29:00.001Z

The mood of the morning

can change in a split second

upon the discovery

of a missed tissue

in the washing machine

Thoughts of bed

2009-12-10T22:14:00.003Z

On a few rare occasions

Mother would ask

"Was your bed comfortable

when you got out

of it this morning?"

Yes, I would say.

"Then you won't mind getting

back into it tonight."

A rare occasion indeed that she had

neglected to make the bed for me

and only now do I think that perhaps

the daily task really wasn't beyond my

own capabilities.

So here's how it works...

2009-12-09T08:20:00.003Z

1 Past

the banks screw up the economy

the tax payer bails them out

2 Present

the tax payer pays more tax

the banks reward themselves

3 Future

the tax payer sacks the Labour government

go to 1

War Of The Colds

2009-12-08T21:46:00.001Z

slowly and surely

some virus is

drawing its plans

against me

Plan C

2009-12-07T22:23:00.003Z

So it turned out that the evening

provided plenty to write about

but nothing actually written

apart from this bit

of irony

Monday night plans

2009-12-07T17:44:00.002Z

Plan A

Start writing that short story about a market stall holder

Plan B

Don't

Hoping for Plan A but already Plan B is demanding more attention.

Lunchtime

2009-11-19T13:09:00.002Z

I'm really getting into

coming home at lunch time

it takes me back to my

school days

but without the glare of

Mrs Lawrence when I

don't eat my crusts

Lunch

2009-11-12T07:01:00.003Z

I really fancied a

pipping down egg

for lunch

yesterday

but ended up with

scrambled instead because

I didn't have any

egg cups

Moving on

2009-11-01T08:38:00.002Z

Officially (on paper)

this is my first day for twenty

years that I am not employed by the

BBC

I woke with an urge to say something

about the BBC that I wouldn't have

been able to say yesterday

but sat here I can't think of a single thing

Alan Bennett

2009-10-28T21:42:00.003Z

A while back

I entered an Alan Bennett competition

I just had to write two questions I would

to ask him

I won

The questions were:

Given the chance, are there any parts of your life you would re-write?

and

Is laughter the best medicine?

His answers were:

My boyhood is quite painful to contemplate

and

It never did me any harm

In addition to the answers - in his own handwriting

I have a copy of his latest book

A Life Like Other People's

Change

2009-09-03T09:34:00.003+01:00

Summer raced out last night
the rain
washing away the vibrant
green from the leaves

Autumn is here
the wind
has changed
and nothing will ever be the
same

Ho hum

2009-09-02T19:04:00.002+01:00

They say that the grass is greener

on the other side of the fence

well I'm on the other side of the fence now

and guess what

I left my camera on the other side of the fence

so I'm going to have to go back to that side

and get it

as for the grass

meh

Leaning on a laptop

2009-08-19T06:51:00.001+01:00

The morning after the ukulele concert the night before

and to think that this time yesterday

I couldn't even spell ukulele

All was not lost

2009-08-11T17:05:00.001+01:00

Not having the Guardian Quick Crossword

at the breakfast table

this morning

did allow me to put

my mind to other things

I finally solved a problem

like Maria

If God had wanted us to enjoy Mondays he wouldn't have given us weekends

2009-08-10T19:56:00.004+01:00

I think I insulted the guy on the phone from the bank

when I suggested that my card may

have been blocked was because I'd been to Scotland

"I hardly think that would be a reason," he said

in a very broad Scott's accent

What I meant was that you may have noticed some unusual

spending patterns...

too late, he'd already taken the huff and passed me on to

some English woman who insisted on call me Mr Friar

oh and lost my other credit card - which is where all the trouble began

and the car's not working properly

and I've no cider

and

Holiday countdown

2009-07-27T08:55:00.003+01:00

The logistics of the week before a holiday

are a nightmare

What to wear?

and if I wear it will there be

time to wash and dry it ready to take?

What not to wear?

Can I go a whole week at work without my favourite shirt?

Now is not the time to experiment

with colour combinations in order to

free up clothing for Saturday

Will I need my shorts in Dunoon?

Where are my shorts?

I need to wash them just in case.

Or do I?

Socks? I need more socks.

I'm going to work. It's less stressful.

Trowse Woods

2009-07-26T20:36:00.003+01:00

An invisible thread had caught a falling leaf

and had left it hanging

magically in the evening breeze

I marvelled at the strength of the gossamer

and at the size of the arachnid that had produced

it was at this point

that I hastily left the wonders of nature

and headed for the pub

Soup

2009-07-26T14:35:00.001+01:00

At the next table the woman's soup

was bound to be tasteless

she'd been waiting for over quarter

of an hour for it

Storytelling

2009-07-17T07:10:00.001+01:00

Some people have fascinating life

stories

if only they'd let me write it.

Hello

2009-07-14T08:29:00.002+01:00

I realise that some may have come

because they saw my pictures in Fusion

hoping to see more

and all they get are words

My pictures are here

ignore the giant poo

it's art

Speechless

2009-06-29T12:47:00.003+01:00

For just a moment

when I saw a mime heading into the gent's toilet

I wondered how he was going to do it

and then a moment later I realised

that he'd just be very quiet but

really over exaggerating everything he did

so I let him get on with it

alone

Snow blind

2009-06-25T11:38:00.002+01:00

Had an impromptu meeting

with a guy with very white

teeth

all I could think was

he's had those whitened

and then he said

'so can I leave that with you?'

I have no idea what's expected of me

but those teeth...

Three men walk into a bar...

2009-05-28T21:53:00.006+01:00

Each are carrying a folded plastic bag
one is from John Lewis
one is so tightly folded I can't see where it's from
the third is a loosely folded orange bag from Sainsbury's

One of the men says:
"Are we on tonight then gents?"
"Yes, it's us tonight."
They order a round of drinks.
"Are we ready then gentlemen?"
And they all head off into a back room somewhere.

A couple of minutes later, another group of men
arrive wearing various items of white - shirts, trousers, caps, jumpers, jackets
but nothing matches
they order pints and stay in the bar discussing
last night's match and their more recent
game of bowls

they are totally unaware that in another room
three men are 'on'.

Home cooking

2009-05-27T17:12:00.003+01:00

I'd quite forgotten how delicious
the taste of raw egg, sugar, flour and butter
is when you run your finger
around the mixing bowl

and now the house is full of the aroma
of freshly cooked
cup cakes

and I have to wait
for them to cool

Train train train

2009-05-22T20:45:00.002+01:00

I've never had to stop at a
level crossing before

today

Swineshead Bridge level crossing
put an end to that

2009-05-20T23:24:00.001+01:00

cold cloudy cider
foggy thoughts come to mind
what happened that night

A vist to the Film Archive

2009-05-20T14:06:00.001+01:00

1431/69 is a bad can
apparently
but no sign of Vinegar Syndrome
which
apparently
is a good thing

Sunny days

2009-05-20T08:37:00.003+01:00

The man on the radio said that rain would
dominate again today with only East
Anglia getting away with some fine
weather

it's funny what a difference twelve months
can make to the way you feel about
the weather

Mary Whitehouse lives....

2009-05-19T22:32:00.004+01:00

I met man who wants every swear word
banned from TV
when I challenged him
he used the word
'gratuitous'
so do you want them banned or not
'context'
so that's a no then
'I'm not back peddling'
and walked away
no doubt thinking that he'd made his point
well

Soap opera

2009-05-19T22:23:00.003+01:00

For a few days I've had trouble
with the soap in the shower
it's too small to handle properly
but too big to throw away

The solution was easy
swap it with the much larger soap bar
in the sink

this morning the soap in question
went on a ceremonial fly past
out of my hand
past my ear
into the toilet

A year and a day

2009-05-17T22:10:00.003+01:00

I'll never stop missing her
but now the only way is onward
until such time
as others miss me

Ute Lemper

2009-05-17T07:38:00.002+01:00

Up to eight minutes past eight
last night I hadn't heard a note
from Ms Lemper so I wasn't really
sure what to expect

I'd be forgiven for thinking I'd somehow stumbled
across the Eurovision Song Contest as a packed
Theatre Royal vibrated to a selection of continental
favourites all sung in their native tongue

She can belt out a good tune
She can spin a good yarn
She knows how to get into the hearts of her audience

I wasn't sure at first
but slowly my heart melted
Ute Lemper is pure showbiz

Now living in New York she bragged about her love
of Berlin where she was brought up
and perhaps my only criticism would be that we
didn't get enough Berlin as we raced through Paris and America
and tangoed in Argentina

The previous night Philip Glass had produced
magical sounds from the piano
that same piano Ute was draped over
in her black sparkly dress
while all around me men drooled

Then Mack The Knife, Cabaret and All That Jazz
and she was gone
So douze points for Ute Lemper

and that's just for rolling her Rs

Philip Glass

2009-05-15T21:56:00.002+01:00

Just back from seeing Philip Glass
in Norwich
his hands wouldn't look out of place
in an episode of Wallace and Gromit

I'm fascinated with the way pianists
use their hands
some hammer
some caress

Mr Glass tends to leave his left hand
rolling around the middle of the keyboard
while his right goes off chasing notes
or gently teasing them out of the keys

2009-05-15T21:55:00.001+01:00

I appear to have let
my mind wander
I'll see if I can get
it back

Two guys on the bus...

2009-04-04T17:46:00.002+01:00

Man 1: You knew Charlie didn't you.
Man 2: Yes. Everyone knew Charlie.
Man 1: Such a shame. He was a lovely man. Didn't you work with him?
Man 2: Oh you're going back now. Must have been thirty years ago.
Man 1: He had that Alzheimer’s thing that messes up your memory.
Man 2: Who? Charlie? I though he died of cancer.
Man 1: Nooo. That was the other Charlie.
Man 2: Well which Charlie are you talking about?
Man 1: Charlie ******.
Man 2: Don't know him.
Man 1: You worked with him.
Man 2: Did I?
Man 1: You just said you did.
Man 2: Did I?
Man 1: About thirty years ago.
Man 2: Do you mean Milton?
Man 1: That's him. Dunno where I got Charlie from.
Man 2: I think he was from Dareham.
Man 1: Who Charlie?

My stop couldn't have been more untimely.

What a cut

2009-02-21T16:21:00.003Z

I popped my head into the barber shop
on Bridewell Alley and pointed to my
unkempt locks
"Can you do anything with this?"
The barber looked a little surprised
"Not today, sorry."
Which didn't fill me with much hope
as he was trained to deal with such
matters

A short time later in Gatsby's
'Creative Hair Artists For Men'
I discovered that the barber was moving house
"By the time I get home I will have moved"
I sat and smiled and nodded as the hair fell
softly around me like snow

And I spotted my father in the mirror
again

Border line

2009-02-20T14:43:00.003Z

Had an interesting letter from Borders

explaining in some detail

how to successfully remove the

sticky orange price label

from their magazines

Straight back at ya

2009-02-10T21:51:00.003Z

It was suggested to me

the other day

that the sudden appearance

of a long grey eyebrow hair

was nothing more than a sign of age

another sign is when the guy in the

bathroom mirror looks old

enough to be your father

but then you remember what a

lovely old man he was

and you exchange a nod of

appreciation

Today's lesson - German sayings

2009-02-07T23:35:00.003Z

Apparently the Germans don't say

'there are plenty more fish in the sea'

when someone breaks with a partner

they say

'lots of women have beautiful daughters'

(or beautiful sons - but I don't think

that works quite as well)

Help

2009-02-06T21:48:00.002Z

Are pistachio nuts like
Muscles
in so much as you shouldn't eat
the ones that haven't
opened?

Write then

2009-02-04T18:39:00.001Z

I've decided to set myself a challenge

I'm going to write the prequel to

The Bible

Moan moan moan

2009-02-02T08:04:00.003Z

The Today programme on Radio 4

is often criticised for being London centric

"The weather, well looking out of the window

it's still snowing here. As for the rest of the

country, if you haven't had it yet, you will."

Then the poor weather guy copped it

"Please don't use the phrase 'Snow Event'

again - people are complaining and want to

know where they can buy tickets."
"OK John, but there is a serious weather situation

happening at the moment..."

Why are we letting people use the English language

to destroy the English language?

Remember...

2009-02-01T18:34:00.001Z

You're only as old

as all those decrepit

friends at a school

reunion look

Size matters

2009-01-29T17:38:00.004Z

We met round a table

at Marzano's in Norwich

they

organisers of an arts festival

a link to a possible venue

We put our red Moleskine

diaries on the table

theirs

3.5 inches by 5.5 inches

mine

5 inches by 8 inches

A sign of the times

2009-01-26T19:26:00.002Z

A guy sat on the pavement in

Norwich asked me for some

change for a cup of tea

and when I said I didn't have any

he produced a Chip and Pin machine

The Puppet Masters

2009-01-25T22:06:00.001Z

Puppets don’t know
right or wrong
Puppets only sing
their master’s song

It's not warm is it

2009-01-21T20:48:00.001Z

If Mimi were here now
it would be more than her tiny hand
that was frozen
I can tell you

Who goes there?

2009-01-15T16:23:00.002Z

A grey afternoon

in Norwich

is it any wonder I

walked into the woman

wearing the black and white

camouflage trousers

and jacket

Sweet dreams

2009-01-13T10:11:00.002Z

I dreamt of passing

a fair home

and two sisters

waved at me though

the window

and they look

happy and relaxed

and I slept soundly

New shoes

2009-01-10T16:15:00.003Z

It's funny how the shoe shops

never have the style you like

in the size you want

but they always have

plenty of stuff you don't want

"Can I interest you in this

shoe reinforcement jelly?

Smear this on and you'll

be able to plunge your shoes

into liquid nitrogen and the leather

will hardly stain, sir."

Biscuits

2009-01-06T21:59:00.001Z

Shortbread

nice, but a little dry

Jam

sweet but messy

Jammie Dodgers

possibly the perfect biscuit

Absorbing shopping

2009-01-05T22:16:00.001Z

I discovered a whole new

level of stationary excitement today

when I was asked

what colour blotting paper

I required

Soup

2009-01-04T21:50:00.001Z

Mushroom soup

delicious

Chicken soup

even better

Chicken and Mushroom soup

I'm just not sure

A cut above the rest

2008-12-30T22:08:00.002Z

Up in Granada land (Manchester/N West)

they've been running an advert for the Lowry Outlets

has anyone else spotted the shot of the guy

wheeling a lawn mower out of the

Black and Decker shop?

Easy does it

2008-12-29T20:11:00.002Z

Go into Thorns in Norwich

and spend £1.45 on a box of

Duzzit

Honestly, your kitchen surfaces

will never have been so

stain free

*similar products available in shops all over the world

Christmas 2008

2008-12-26T10:47:00.001Z

A wonderful Christmas

but two cards missing

this year

Late night shopping

2008-12-18T17:12:00.002Z

comes to an early end

when first shop fails to

deactivate security tag

there are only so many times

you can have the patience to have

your bag searched

when entering a shop

On a whim

2008-12-17T19:34:00.001Z

I've entered a short story

competition

read

comment

vote

here

Sniff

2008-12-15T12:44:00.001Z

It's very difficult to find
a Doctor willing to talk to you
in a town you don't know
especially when you want to ask
about sneezing your brain out

Handy hints to get you through the X-Factor Final

2008-12-11T21:14:00.002Z

When the little guy comes on and says
"You're Saturday night starts here"
turn the TV off

When JLS start to sing turn on the Dyson
and suck your eardrums out of your head

When Eeeweon starts to smile
ditto the Dyson with your eyeballs

Drink one pint of Carling Black Label every time
Cheryl says the word 'Luvly'

Drink one shot of Jack Daniels every time Simon says
"I have to say..."

Shoot Louis every time anyone speaks.

Gather your friends around and play
"Who remembers who the fourth judge is"
the winner has to drink one pint of Fosters

Vote for John Sergent

Handy hints to get you through a Woolworths sale

2008-12-11T17:17:00.002Z

Stand well clear of the doors and old ladies
when they sound the charge

Don't expect to save a fortune, in fact don't expect
to save anything as you'll spend all your spare money on
cut-price nearly new pick-and-mix

Don't buy me anything. I'll know.
I'll just know.

Only buy very large things. Small things sell quicker than
big things so the crush in the big stuff isle will not be as bad

Hire a baby buggy, a shopping trolley and a large tortoise
and drift around picking stuff up saying in a loud voice,
"cheaper at Aldi", "cheaper at Aldi"
the Manager will offer you the opportunity to
shop tomorrow before the doors open to the public
with staff discount

Find out which store Peter Sissions will be doing the
Six O'Clock News from and go to the one in the next town

Write to Peter Sissons and ask him to do your shopping
for you

Buy anything with the name Woolworths on it
pop it in your attic and sell it on E-bay in 2034
for slightly more than you paid for it

Suddenly...

2008-12-11T16:47:00.001Z

everybody knows where
their nearest
Woolworths
is

Handy hints to get you through the credit crisis

2008-12-10T20:01:00.004Z

If you walk very slowly around
your house
you have less chance of disturbing the dust
and won't require the services of a cleaner

If you pile old newspapers under
one end of your lounge carpet
over a period of time
all the muck will work it's way to the
lower end where a tethered goat
will happily graze for hours.

Old shoe boxes are ideal storage containers
for old shoes.

Don't throw away broken light bulbs.

If you're eating alone
cook for two
it uses no more energy and right up to the
moment you sit down to eat
you can trick yourself into thinking
that a friend will be joining you.
Just take a few moments to think about the menu though;
despite what you read on the Internet
goats do not eat any old rubbish

Try washing your windows on a non-spin cycle
in your washing machine
you'll save a fortune on having to constantly
buy new ones

Only buy Christmas presents that are one-sided
and thus save money on wrapping paper.

When buying Charity Christmas cards
don't send one to every member of the charity
try doubling up on some of them.

If you're planning on going away
for the New Year
remember to arrange for someone to come in
and feed the goat
or simply let him off his tether and allow him
fend for himself (hide away any sharp objects
inside toilet roll middles packed with
torn off strips from your satin sheets)

WD 40

2008-12-10T18:15:00.002Z

The button on my can
of WD 40 has started
to squeak