Paper round

I was asked if I'd like to
help deliver some papers
round the house near here
but I said no
the last time I delivered papers
someone threw an empty milk
bottle at me
I was rather hoping to mention that
to the person a couple of weeks ago
but he didn't turn up
to the school reunion

Close encounter

With my job
you get to meet some very
interesting
people
sometimes however
you run into people
you'd rather not have met

Party Conference

Yeah, so I was at the
Labour Party Conference
again (working)
and I saw Bill Clinton
and lots of other people
who's names I don't know
and one or two that I do know
some of which didn't know mine
either because they didn't need to
or had simply forgotten
full report here

Hands up

When the metal detector thingy went off
as I stepped through it
a policeman with an automatic machine gun
said to his mate
'That's the guy we've been looking for'
Admittedly he was smiling at me when
he said it
but at that moment I think I would have
admitted carrying out the Whitechapel
murders
in 1888

Party on

Another day a the Labour Party Conference
(full details here)
I was stopped by a Labour
Party worker
'Can I ask you a few questions?'
What do you want to know?
'Do you support the Labour Party actively?'
I work in the media, I'm impartial
'Yeah, but do you actively support the Labour Party'
Are the toilets this way?

Spent most of the day
at the Labour Party
Conference in
Manchester
I've never been before
find out more here

Invite

Got home
checked my e-mail
Hi Richard,
You have been invited to join the
Colon Cleansing Treatment
group on MySpace

I wonder if the doctor could
fit me in first thing
tomorrow

Welcome to Bolton...

spewed the young guy
in the doorway of the
sandwich shop we
popped into
on our way to the
theatre

the play was a homage to
Carry On
with a great set
great lines
and first rate actors
who definitely managed to
un-crimp the evening
for us

then the 80p car park charged
me £1.90 because we'd arrived five
minutes early
in the hope of finding
somewhere nice to eat

Waste paper

At what point does the
free paper
they hand out at the station
in the morning
become my litter?
If I read it am I then
responsible for its disposal
or is it ok to leave it on
the train?
And does filling in half the
Metroku
make it anymore mine
even if I have gone wrong
and put two sevens in the
same row?

There was this guy on a train...

The girl opposite me on the
Manchester train
was playing with her ticket
just as the train started to pull
out of the station I noticed
that she was going to Huyton
a wave of panic washed over me
I was on the wrong train
I decided to deal with this stress
by convincing myself that
it was she that was on the
wrong train
not me
and I kept up the pretense
right up until we pulled into
Huyton station
and then every other station
in every other tiny town along
the terminally long
Liverpool to Manchester
line

Times they are a changing

On the train back from
Liverpool to Manchester
a man sat next to me
he was scruffy and
smelt like a bar mat
then he unfolded his copy
of
The Times
which just goes to show
you can't judge people
by their appearance or
smell
of course he may have just picked
the paper up off another seat
actually, I bet
that's exactly what he did

Ah, the yoot of today

On the train this morning a
young person (15-18) was sprawled
across two seats
a woman got on and asked if she
may sit down
he scorned as he made way
I desperately tried not to make
contact with her eyes as she sat down
in fear that I may be drawn in to
the utter disgust she so obviously
wanted to share
with
anyone

Day trip

I'm off to Liverpool today
for a meeting
I'm looking forward to it
as I wont have access to
a computer
and I get a couple of hours
peace and quiet
on a couple of trains

Buxton trip

I fell out of
a Jaguar
(car not cat)
this evening
trying to gracefully step
out of it in Buxton

Milk is cold

Why are the handles of
plastic milk bottles
hollow?
they fill with milk
that’s too cold to carry
sealing up the handles wouldn’t use
much extra plastic
and I wouldn’t need to have to use
two plastic carrier bags to bring it home
(I use two in case one of the bags split
and then we would have the Elderflower cordial
incident
all over again)

Freshers

Manchester has that fresher feel
try taking a walk along
Oxford Road
you can't move for them
and the leafleters
thrusting adverts into their
fresh little hands
of course I never get anything
thrusted at me other than a Big Issue
because I look far to old even be a
mature student

Feet

I have two issues regarding my feet
today
firstly I put on my first sock
inside out
so took the snap decision to wear
the other one inside out too
call me crazy if you must
the second issue is slightly more serious
black shoes with brown trousers
I'm it works
but I'm not so sure
I had the same dilemma yesterday
and bottled it by wearing
red shoes

Celebrity watch

Monday at the Royal Exchange:
Antonio Fergas - spoke to me
Maxine Peake - spoke to me
Cathy Burke - spoke to me
Sir Tom Courtenay - spoke to me
Pete Postlewaite
Paul McGann
plus a number of other celebs
including the cast of Mary Barton
who also
didn't speak to me

Tuesday
Loud Lisa from the last Big Brother - spoke to me

I exchanged pleasantries with
John Simm the
other morning
when I passed him in the corridor
at work
I was wearing a white shirt and black jeans
he wore a funny coloured shirt
and leather jacket

Party

Last night we held a
surprise party for mother
we decided to take her and
a few dozen of her old friends
and family members
on a cruise up the
River Dee
Someone read out a list of things
that had only been created
since she was born in 1926
interestingly
the list didn't include the
prawn sandwiches on the buffet

Um, I appear to have started a new Blog over here. Not really sure how it happened, it just did. I was just flirting with some new ideas and now it seems to have grown into something else. SO that's where I'm spending most of my time.

I'm going to have a think about what I'd like to do with Mind (is there a Blog version of those home make-over shows they have on TV? A couple of designers come along and completely restructure your blog, that kind of thing?)

Anyway, I'm playing over there now, drop by when you can.