The Bread People

I was in Tesco just now
and some of the staff were trying to
assemble a display stand close to
the bakery
but were having no joy
"Hey, bread people", one shouted
"do you know how this thing goes?"

So Tesco actually employ Bread People
who did in fact rise to the occasion
and certainly earned their dough this evening

I'll stop now

Edward Jenner

There's an interesting statue in the
Manchester Museum
called A Shot In The Dark
It shows Edward Jenner inoculating a young boy
possibly his son or his gardener's son
It's a cast from the original bronze
by Giulio Monteverde
and is the first bronze
statue I've ever seen
depicting a medical
scene

Words don't count

One of the 6th Form teachers
told us that taking English
at AS level was going
to be really useful
except that she was an awful speller
and it hadn't held her back
and she even had to use a
spell checker in lessons

Word count

Was asked to write a hundred
words
about our local church
for a leaflet about
local churches
I managed 98
words
so have two spare words
which I may save up
and use on something else

Shanks' pony

A phrase used on the train tonight
by someone who wondered where
it originated
I doubt they'll look here for the answer
but they may look here

Back to school

Went to the school open evening
to look at sixth form options
I asked the Media Studies teacher
why they were so TV/Film heavy
playing down radio and print
journalism
now it looks like I'm going to be
roped in to
talk to the students about
radio

and there was the young one thinking
the evening was all about her

Fluff

Sunday afternoons as a child
was very much about
family visits
cold meat salads, sponge cake
and Alan 'Fluff' Freeman
on the radio
alongside Jimmy Clitheroe
Freeman's voice is
one that will always take me back
to those days
which always seemed
to be sunny

Men only

I've made a disturbing discovery
two young girls were chatting about
buying presents for their boyfriends
one said 'I only buy him stuff I like'
the other one said 'yeah me too'
I will never look at a gift
in the same way again

The pain, oh the pain

I think I pulled something
in my knee
stepping down from the kitchen
worktop onto a chair
having finally put the coving up

I've also pulled something in my arm
either stretching to get the coving
into place
or trying to juggle the very heavy
Michael Palin book
while in the toilet

Role reversal

Decided to have a music evening
going through all the CDs and
picking out some quality tunes
fifteen-year-old daughter pops her
head round the door
'would you mind turning it down please'
I tried desperately to make the
same grunting noise she makes
when I ask her to do something
not unreasonable
but I think it came out
sounding more like and admission of
guilt

I turned it down a notch

Rubbing shoulders/name dropping

Today I met
Colin Towns and Norma Winstone
Pearl Fawcett-Adriano
Craig Bradley
amongst others
oh and three guys who were not
Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin
and Sammy Davis Jr
but sure looked and sounded
like them

On a roll

Having yesterday finished
the Alan Bennett tome
Untold Stories
today I finished reading
journalist Jon Ronson's
Out of the Ordinary book

Bennett closed on the story
of his fight against cancer
while Ronson's final chapter
was a fascinating insight into the life
of Stanley Kubrik

So what to read next?
I picked up a copy of Bill Bryson's
A Short History of Nearly Everything
in a charity shop
I managed to get to the second page
this evening
before my brain fused and shrunk
to the size of a proton
(or perhaps singularity)
so I've just got back from Tesco
where I picked up Michael Palin's
Python Years 1969-1979

I've met Palin, Bennett and Ronson
but not Bryson
perhaps there's a link here somewhere

The History Boys

Last night at the Lowry
Alan Bennett's The History Boys
received a standing ovation
from me
as the guy sat next to me decided
that he wanted to get out ahead of the
crowd and trampled all over my feet and bag
and fell up the stairs in his haste
this act of rudeness far outshone the woman
behind me who
for the entire duration
of the play
rustled paper as she frantically made notes
for her review
the play deserved the ovation - standing or otherwise
I, on the other hand, didn't deserve to be
subjected to the irritations of
fellow members of
the press

This morning I finally finished
Alan Bennett's Untold Stories

Left message

Mother rings
and leaves a message
'I know you're not dead
because I heard you
on the radio today'

It could have been a
recording

The name's Bond

007 is back
what a fantastic film
Casino Royale is
really enjoyed it
despite the fact
that the adverts before
the film included 'spoiler' clips
from the film
and that people paid £6.50
to talk for two hours
and people still don't know
what a reserved seat is
but apart from that
the film was amazing and
included one of the best
chases I've seen on film that
was done entirely on foot
brilliant

Mother 2

I interviewed a young singer
on my radio programme
this afternoon who entertained us with a
couple of songs
I was totally impressed
This evening Mother reminded me of
the word I'd used at the end of
one of his performances
'You said it was "fantastic", well I'd have said
it was a bloody row'.

She was on the phone for twenty-five minutes

Mother 1

Mother tells me
on the phone
that she's bought a new
crib
'It was a fiver. But it doesn't
look cheap. Unless you look at
their faces'.

You say potato...

Get a text message from B
'If you're going to Tesco
get me a spud. I really
fancy one'

Dirty Des

So Des O'Connor is to be the
new host of Countdown
I wonder what mother will do
she loves Countdown
but has never forgiven Des
since he 'diddled' us out of
a prize when we won a bingo game
at the Palace Theater in Manchester
in the late 60s
the entire audience shouted 'House' at the same time
Dad said it was a 'swizz'
but even at my young age
I saw it as a great gag

Good timing

The youngest one in the house
was sitting at the computer
clicking around her friends'
various websites
suddenly music started blasting out
of the speakers
the panic stricken rattle of the keyboard
was drowned out by someone rapping
"Freedom of speech Mother F.."

click

'That was good timing,' I said.
'Oops'.

Leaf them alone

According to our local
council
leaves are litter and
as such
they have to clear them up
but
if they become mushy and
start turning to soup
it's then the responsibility
of the county council

Just can't get adjusted

Shouldn't the jet lag
have passed by now?
it has been a week
zzzzzzzzzz

Holiday

Neon,
originally uploaded by richardf.

Back from two
weeks in Florida
where they had a bit of
a cold snap
with temperatures
dropping on one day
to 68