And I have the badge to prove it

Just got back from the informal
launch of Transmission #8
at the Sand Bar in Manchester

what a great bunch of people
us writers are
and so polite too
the crisps were not
savaged as expected
none of us fell on the floor
in a drunken stupor
or collapsed into an ashtray
or made any literary faux pas

of course all that may have happened
after I left
'cause you know what us
writers are like

Quotes of the day

"Have you had the samosas here?"
"Sounds painful"
"No. The samosas, they're vegetarian."

****

"I've got some mustard on my shoe."

****

"Don't mix grape and grain" - Oh dear, a bottle of wine
and a coupe of pints of lager doesn't bode well

I couldn't wait

I've been invited to the launch of
Transmission #08
next Thursday where I'll get a free
copy of the magazine that's included
my micro fiction story 'Won'
but I couldn't wait that long
so I popped into the
Cornerhouse
and bought a copy
if you want to read the story
and see the fabulous illustration
by Victoria Wainwright
then you have to get yourself a copy
of Transmission #08

Moan moan moan

(Takes deep breath)
Buying advanced tickets is a lot cheaper but you have to sit where you are told you know that guy in the Titanic that was practically sleeping in the engine room well if Virgin had their way people paying £42 instead of the hundred odd would be dangled under the train rubbing their faces in that stuff you're not allowed to flush in the station (except for some reason on Platform 1 at Manchester Piccadilly) but they're not allowed to do that so you get a seat without a view no window close to the toilet or shop so that it's the smell of all that stuff you shouldn't flush or microwaved bacon that accompanies you for two and half hours to or from London plus of course you're forced to sit next to some other cheapskate with bouncy legs who does nothing but moan about the lack of view and the smell and the lack of phone signal ends

Normal service will resume soon

A human very similar to Jose Mourinho

The newspapers are today full
of pictures of Yorkshire Terriers
all looking slightly different
but very much Yorkshire terriers
each is accompanied by a caption
along the lines of
"A dog very similar to Jose Mourinho's"
(Guardian)
or
"A Yorkshire terrier similar to the one owned by Jose Mourinho"
(Manchester Evening News)
of course none of the dogs look anything like
each other or
I suspect
Mourinho's actual dog
but I'm sure the picture editors
had fun looking through their
'cute dog' folder

The Weakest Link

Anne Robinson: What 'B' can be something that is broken and a woman's chest?
Contestant: Breast

Pencil shavings

I swept up some pencil shavings
(you know who you are)
the smell from the little slivers
of wood took me
back to the school classroom
a room full of chalk dust and
desks with ink wells from a time
before mine
and large windows that framed
many a daydream
and skies that seemed forever blue
against the grey walls
and the bare knees of Karen F
white
and Bobby's Gola bag
and cornflake tart
and pencil shavings in the desk

Tesco queue

Why is it that every time I go
into Tesco
just as I put the last item in my basket
the announcement goes out for
all multi-skilled staff to go to the tills
and today even with multi-skilled staff
dripping off the walls
there were not enough tills to cope
I stood behind one lady
'I hope they hurry up
I'm disabled and I'd hate to pass out
in Tesco'
I'd have hated her to have passed out too
all the other lines had at least three people
in them waiting

What I did this weekend

The weekend always starts on Friday
for me
so we begin with a trip to the theatre
to see Ronnie Burkett’s Theatre
of Marionettes
Saturday I was in Moss Side for a
community open day at the Powerhouse
and today
relaxed and and
update Books With Stories
and catch up on various podcast
I'm subscribed to
did you know that Jonathan Miller still
regrets allowing Beyond The Fringe
to divert him from his real calling
medicine
according to an interview with him
by Studio 360

Oh Liverpool loo

Two buttons on the cistern
no explanation as to what
either are for
do you press one
both (together or separately)
neither

I pressed the smaller one
of the two
as this seemed best appropriate
at the time

Nothing fake about the beer

I'm sat looking at a brown
mock
suede letter rack
bought from W H Smiths on
Piccadilly Station
at 8.30 last night
following a few pints in
the Marble Arch
which is a micobrewery
making beers from organic
hops and malt

I must return
(to the pub not Smiths)
soon as it's another of Manchester's
hidden gems

Rear window

We were rather hoping our
driver would arrive in his
Jag
sadly he didn't

some clapped out old banger

halfway up the first of many
steep hills he announced that
the car didn't do
second gear

but it did have a new
wiper blade on the
rear window

Speechless

I've started work on a new play
obviously I'm not going to write
too much about on here
but there's something rather nice
about having a character open a door
and walk onto stage
and just have them stand there
waiting for me to put words into their
mouth

Dr What?

So there I was at the Dr Who Exhibition
at the Museum of Science and Industry
pointing out the various monsters on display
'Look, that's a Cyberman and there's the Face of Boe'
Then it happened. Not even sure
now that I believed what I heard
"Oh, so THAT'S a Dalek"

Look, just don't even ask about the
Sonic Screwdriver episode
I need a pay rise

When To Do lists go bad

To Do
Book hotel in London
Book trains to and from London

Not To Do
Book hotel for wrong night
Book trains for wrong days

To Do
Cancel hotel
Cancel trains
Book hotel in London
Book trains to and from London

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POSTSCRIPT
Discovered that for some reason
the blog had switched to registered
users only
hopefully it's now open to all
not that many ever
comment

Absent friends

I met Geoff a couple of times
so I was sad to read yesterday
that he's
brought his 43 blog to an end
Geoff offered his readers a
unique view of Manchester
life
from the number 43 bus
perhaps he'll return soon
with something new

But a greater sadness this morning
as I learn of the death of fellow blogger
English Muffin
I'd never met Kim but enjoyed following
her blog
so clicking on the link this morning
left me feeling cold when I was greeted
by a posting from her sister Mimi
saying that Kim had died following
an accident

Those that don't blog probably don't
understand the virtual friendships that
develop online
most of the people I read and link to
I don't know other than through their
words and thoughts
but to lose a blogging friend
either by the closure of a blog or
the passing of the author
is like
having a death in the family

a day of sadness indeed