World tour

Off to New York later
in August
then Brighton in September
and Madrid in October
I wish it was some kind of
book signing tour
but sadly not
although I may get some book
writing ideas

Tumblr

I've signed up for Tumblr
which is like half way
between a blog and
Twitter
well perhaps a little
closer to a blog actually

Can you see this?

Some days I think people can't see me
take today for instance
a moped pulls out in front of me on the way to the shops
then
people bash into me with their trolleys
in Tesco
and then some guy with a brain the
size of something really small is behind me at the
self service check-out and
as I'm totally invisible today he
begins to scan his stuff and sends them on
a journey down the belt towards me
before I've even managed to open one of the
hermetically sealed
plastic carrier bag
his stuff is piling into mine
idiot

Sometimes...

I feel my life could be
so much better
if I could simply replace
certain people
with strips of turf

Woof woof

I've moved the music centre so I can
play iTunes stuff straight from the laptop
the problem is where to place my subwoofer
'Google is your friend' she says
So...
"The general misconception as hinted at earlier, is that because the brain finds frequencies below 100Hz difficult to localise, the sub-woofer can be placed anywhere in a room without detrimental effects. This just isn't the case - nothing is simple in audio is it? Correctly positioning a sub-woofer is the hardest part of installing one.
Because the wavelengths in question are long (some as long as 50 feet) the position of a sub-woofer is hard to localise, but it must be stressed that it is still a point source with the soundwaves radiating out from it. Moving a sub-woofer out from it's typical placement in a corner, can change the amplitude of standing waves and either increase or decrease the amount of bass perceived at your listening position. An incorrectly blah blah blah iaculis urna vitae diam. Etiam ante nisi, congue eget, convallis ac, ultricies ornare, turpis. Donec lacinia enim eget dolor pellentesque tristique. In ut odio. Nulla a ligula aliquam eros eleifend gravida. Proin tempus orci et tortor. In nec tellus. Proin auctor dignissim justo. Maecenas imperdiet. Mauris interdum tincidunt eros. Class aptent taciti sociosqu ad litora torquent per conubia nostra, per inceptos hymenaeos."

I've shoved it on top of something

How exciting is this...

Number one:
I've had a second story accepted for
Transmission Magazine

Number two:
I've actually managed post number three
on Notes and Qwertys

Number three:
I have a new pair of Wellingtons
I don't remember when I last needed
a pair
we've also ordered enough timber
to build a small ark

Sweet thief

I bought a bag of mixed sweets
and stupidly left them on my desk
at work over night
the next day they were all gone
except for the Blackjacks
so I'm hunting an overweight
licorice hater

Were we that bad?

Our Chinese student has left
it was always planned for them to
go today
we're not THAT bad

and some of the mothers
and students cried
we just waved

one Chinese student tried to
hug an elderly man
but all he got
was "I'm bloody English you know"

we got a parting gift
so we couldn't have been
that bad

Home

We need a new kitchen
the one we've got seems
to be full of dirty dishes
and it's spilling over into
the lounge

Blog night

Monday night in Manchester
and I'm about to head off to
the Festival Pavilion for the
BBC Manchester Blog Meet
bloggers meeting bloggers
talking about blogging with
one or two people actually
blogging in public

some things need to be done
in the privacy of your own home

Prom

It's Prom Night
and the town is full of
stretched Limos

is she really that age

so proud

So

Friday night
eh?

The smell of the greasepaint

Surely it's the cast that should
feel nervous ahead of a performance
but it's a show starring
Johnny Vegas
so I must admit I'm feeling a
tad jittery

What we did today

The weather today has been
dreadful
slate black skies and torrential rain
only the amoeba voted off
in the first round of
The Weakest Link: Amoeba Special
would have ventured out in it

we took the exchange student
to the seaside

A meal out

It was interesting to watch our
Chinese student in the Chinese
restaurant last night
I don't think she'd seen a prawn cracker before
in her life
and the complete look of horror on her
face when the waitress ripped apart
the crispy duck into a pile of sawdust-like crumbs
suggested that things are done differently
back home
"They carefully cut it into pieces," she trembled
the poor girl was distraught
well more so actually having had to witness
my chopstick skills with the Dim Sum
I'm not sure that the red food colouring will ever
come out of the table cloth
or my shirt
or socks